Archive for the ‘persuasion’ Category

Sad Sales Negotiators Do A Bad Job

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
Scientists Have Discovered That Sad Sales Negotiators Do A Bad Job <br>(c) - 2009

Scientists Have Discovered That Sad Sales Negotiators Do A Bad Job (c) - 2009

In the quest to do a better job at negotiating deals, sales negotiators have been known to do some pretty wild things in order to condition themselves to perform at a high level – extreme exercising, exposure to hot / cold temperatures, and even eating some pretty weird things. However, is it possible that they’ve been overlooking the most important thing – how happy they are?

The Power Of Sad

Dr. Robert Cialdini has spent a lot of time studying how we can persuade others and how they can persuade us. In fact he’s written a popular book on the topic titled Influence: Science and Practice in which he talks about what causes us to do things that we may not be giving a lot of thought to.

When it comes to sales negotiations, Dr. Cialdini and his peers have done some interesting studies that should cause all of us to sit up and take notice.

The Big Guess

The social scientist who were doing the research started with the hypothesis that when we get sad, we get motivated to do something to change our current circumstances in order to get out of our sad mood.

They took this thinking one step further. They also guessed that sad buyers would be willing to pay higher prices for a given product and sad sellers would be willing to sell a product for a lower price.  Do I have your interest now?

The Experiment

The cool thing about being a social scientist is that you get to test your hypothesis on people, not rats. In this case the scientists had their (human) test subjects divided into two groups. One group watched a sad movie and then wrote a paragraph about how the movie made them feel. The other group watched a movie about fish (!) and then wrote about what they had done that day.

Next, both groups were once again divided into two groups and one group was asked to mark on a piece of paper what price they would sell an item at and the other group was asked to mark on a piece of paper what price they would buy an item at.

What the scientist discovered just might scare you. It turns out that their original guess was right: sad buyer ended up being willing to spend 30% more for an item than emotionally neutral buyers. Likewise, sad sellers were willing to sell an item for 33% less than emotionally neutral sellers. The really spooky part of all of this is that the sad buyers and sellers had no idea that their sadness had affected them so much.

Final Thoughts

Although we often get caught up in preparing for our next sales negotiation, what the social scientists have discovered is that we bring everything else that is going on in our lives to the table with us. On a similar note, the other side of the negotiating table does the exact same thing.

Before you start  your next sales negotiation, you need to take a minute or two and evaluate how you are feeling. If there is anything that is bringing you down or making you depressed, then you have got to try to find a way to resolve it or at least make it better before the negotiations start. Learn to do this and it will allow you to close better deals and close them quicker.

Questions For You

Have you ever gone into a sales negotiation feeling sad? How did that negotiation turn out for you? Have you ever negotiated with someone who was clearly feeling sad? Did you do better than you normally do in that deal? If you are feeling sad, what do you do to make yourself become happy? Leave me a comment and let me know what you are thinking.

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Welcome to the new world order: consumers are learning to haggle. In the extended global economic recession, consumers who never used to even think about bargaining are suddenly starting to haggle over every deal. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

The Delicate Art Of Using Persuasion In Negotiations

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

Use Persuasion when negotiating to get the other side to see things the way that you do

So why do we even bother negotiating with the other side? The answer is simple: we need the other side do or provide us with what we want. Study after study has shown that most people (this includes me) believe that we’re so smart that nobody can sell anything to us. Good negotiators know that the truth turns out to be that we can be persuaded to do something if, and only if, we don’t recognize that the other side is using a “sales” technique on us. Why should this matter to you? Simple – when you are negotiating with the other side and you take the time to use a few persuasion techniques then you will be taking advantage of what modern psychological research has revealed about how we can make our ideas and negotiating positions more credible and more believable. Let’s talk about how you can accomplish this…

Use a rifle, not a shotgun: If you want the other side to accept your ideas and make them their own, you need to aim at a narrow target. This means that you need to stop doing what we all instinctively do during a negotiation: back the truck up and dump all of the information that we’ve collected about our position all over the other side. It turns out that this will just end up overwhelming them and not do much to bring them over to our side. Instead, what you should do is some field work before you even start to negotiate. You need to find out what’s important to the other side. This will allow you to focus your persuasion on those and only those points.

Make It Story Time: Stories are a fantastic way for us to learn and they can be very effective way to persuade someone. However, if it sounds like you are giving a sales pitch, then you can be assured that telling a story won’t work. Instead, if you focus on a story that has real meaning, then the other side’s unconscious mind will automatically draw the necessary connections without any help from you and the result will be that they end up doing the persuasion for you. The key to telling an effective story is to once again pinpoint what matters to the other side and then tell a story about a similar idea or concept. This indirect approach is the secret to winning the other side over to your way of thinking and keeps them from feeling like you are using a hard sell technique on them.

How have you won the other side over in the past? Have you ever tried something that did not work out the way that you had intended? Has someone tried to persuade you to do something with a story during a negotiation but blown it by turning it into an obvious sell job? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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Body Language Skills That Women Don’t Know About

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

Body language is a persuasion skill that women need to learn to use as a part of negotiating

Negotiating is simply a form of specialized communication. We’ve mentioned that persuasion is the flip side of negotiation – the non-verbal communication skills that go along with negotiation’s spoken words. Body language – what our bodies are telling the other side, is a key part of this persuasion skill. What’s interesting is that men seem to do a better job of using their persuasion skills than women do as a part of any deal making. Why is this? I’m sure that psychologists would have a lot to say about it; however, let’s just assume the root cause is how we were all brought up. Boys have been taught to do everything possible to win – no holds barred while girls are taught that there are boundaries that should not be mixed or crossed. Let’s see what we can do about straightening this all out…

As we start the 21st century with its global workforce, new competitors, and changing workplace rules, I believe that persuasion skills are the one set of skills that will set the high achievers apart from everyone else. Some people are just born with a natural ability to communicate well with everyone they meet. The rest of us have to work at it. Just to make things even more complicated, I’m here to tell you that it’s still a “man’s world”. Men still run businesses and most of us are working for a man either directly or somewhere in our management chain. As a man, this is great news for me because I know how to communicate with men. I’ve been around men all my life and they communicate exactly the same way I do. However, it’s not always so easy for women to talk to men , both in the workplace and in your personal lives. Let’s solve that problem. I’m going to give you the skills that you need to understand what both men and women are really telling you and I’m going to show you how you can clearly communicate your message to them at the same time.

Now I’ve got a confession to make – earlier in my career I got canned, fired, walked to the door, call it what you will, you get the point. I’d like to say that I’m a master communicator and that I knew that this was coming; however, that’s not the case. This firing completely blind-sided me. I did not see it coming. Now I thought that I was very good at reading people; however, I was not looking in the right places and that’s one of the reasons that I got taken by surprise. Since then I have honed my people skills so that I never again get surprised: now I am much better at telling what someone is really thinking and I don’t get confused by their words. This is the skill that I’m going to be passing on to you. To get things started, let’s talk about body language. We all know what this is, but how often do we remember to use it in every conversation that we have?

To get started, you need to changed your thinking about every conversation that you have each day. Think about each conversation that you have as being like having three simultaneous phone calls going on with the person that you are talking to: your words, your tone, and your body language. This understanding is important because not only do you need to understand what other people are saying to you, you also have to understand that you are sending multiple messages simultaneously when you speak to others. What is your body language saying about you?

We ignore these gestures because we are so self-involved in what we are saying and trying to listen to what the other person is saying. A quick word of caution: a single isolated gesture is like a single word , doesn’t mean anything unless you put it in context in which it is being used. Just because someone is tugging on their ear when they are talking to you, does not necessarily mean anything! When studying body language, a key point is that it’s when there is change in someone’s gestures that we should take notice. When they start to make a new gesture, that indicates that they have just started to feel someway.

We’re going to start by discussing which single gestures express an attitude or emotion. They are very different and it’s important that you can tell them apart. Next we’ll group these gestures into more complex groups and then show you how to unravel their meaning. Finally, we’ll talk about what to do with the insights that you’ll gain from this new awareness. Knowledge is good, but if you don’t know what to do with it, then it won’t be of any help to you.

Where did I get all of this wonderful information? Its been picked up from watching and observing my coworkers over time & doing lots & lots of reading on the subject. We all need to realize that in any negotiation situation the non-verbal communication is as important as words being used. Next time we’ll dive in to the details of what to look for and what it means…

Do you read the body language of others when you are negotiating with them? Do you think that your body language is giving off clues as to how you feel that you don’t realize? Do you work with anyone who is a master body language reader? How did they get that way? Leave a comment and let me know.

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The Other Side Of Negotiation: Persuasion

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Persuasion is the other side of negotiation

The last time that I went into an auto dealership to buy a car, I was smart enough to keep my eyes open. Because I realized that I was entering into a negotiating “combat zone”, I wanted to see what the dealer would do to prepare me for the inevitable pricing discussions that we were going to be having. Although I came ready to negotiate, what I discovered is that even before we began to talk, the dealer was trying to persuade me to buy a car there. Suddenly the light turned on for me – there’s a whole dimensional to this negotiating stuff that I had not realized was there…

The ultimate goal of any negotiation is to convince the other side to do what you want them to do: sell you the car, buy your house, give you a job, sign the contract, etc. We’ve spent some time talking about what I like to call “classical negotiating”. This includes preparing to negotiate, planning on what you are going to compromise on, and even how to deal with demands and deadlines. Now it’s time to talk about the other side of the coin: persuasion.

Persuasion is one of those words that we all know, but would be hard pressed to define. To put it simply, persuasion is a form of social influence in which one party guides another party to a conclusion or action. This is accomplished by appealing to the other party’s needs and wants instead of forcing them to do something. If taken too far, then persuasion can turn into manipulation where only one party benefits from the interaction.

Why take the time to talk about persuasion when we really should be talking about negotiation? Simple, the two forms of communication are different sides to the same coin. I like to think about persuasion as being the unspoken part of negotiation. In a perfect world, if you could persuade the other side to sell you the car, buy your house, sign the contract, then that would be all that was needed. However, often times persuasion is not enough, and that’s when negotiation comes in to play. No matter how things turn out, persuasion has a role to play before, during, and after a negotiation.

When communicating with the other side, there are two basic forms of persuasion that can be used: logical and emotional. It’s important to realize that both forms are often used together – this is not an either or situation. The logical appeal attempts to use facts, logic, and reason to convince the other party to agree to take some action. The emotional appeal attempts to capture the other side’s imagination, their heart, or simply to appeal to their belief system to achieve the same thing.

Back to that car dealer. The walls of the dealership were covered with facts & stats about the safety and gas mileage of the cars that I was looking at (logical). They had pictures up around the place of past customers with little hand written notes that thanked the dealership for their service and support (emotional/social). Finally, when I sat down with the salesman to talk about pricing, I couldn’t help but notice the oversized picture of his wife and children that was prominently displayed on his desk (emotional). Next time you get ready to negotiate, don’t forget to prepare for the other 50% of your task – persuasion!

Do you use persuasion as a part of your negotiations? Have you ever felt as though the other side was using it on you? Have you ever been manipulated by someone during a negotiation? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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Three Secrets That Have Been Missing From Negotiation Training

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

Good negotiators use the same secrets to communicate that cheerleaders do

This is going to be a bit of a rant, so I should probably apologize for that in advance.

Over the past 10 years I have have read countless books on negotiating, attended training course after training course, and in the end I was left feeling that something very fundamental was missing — there were secrets to being being a successful negotiator that weren’t being talked about. There is nothing more frustrating than knowing that you don’t know something. I knew that I needed to find somebody who knew these secrets and who would be willing to share them with me.

When in doubt, talk to Sales. So that’s what I did – I started going out on customer visits with every salesperson that would let me tag along. What I saw was that there were good sales people and bad sales people. The good sales people would dive into a negotiation with a customer, tussle about the details, and in the end they would emerge with an agreement that was good for their company and with a satisfied customer no matter what they had gotten or given up. The bad sales people would enter a negotiation as though they were jumping into a street fight, have a knock-down-drag-out with the customer, and finally emerge bruised with a bad agreement and an angry customer. So what were they doing differently?

The bad sales people had clearly gone to the same negotiating classes that I had attended. They used the same negotiating vocabulary that I used and they stepped though a negotiation using the basic steps that I was currently using. They couldn’t really teach me anything. It was the good sales people who held the negotiating secrets that I was looking for.

As I focused on what the good sales people were doing, it very slowly dawned on me that they were being successful because of things that they were doing that weren’t taught in any negotiating course that I had ever taken. This clearly called for some serious beer conversations in order to gain access to these secrets.

Over way too many beers, I was eventually able to tease the answers out of the really good sales people about how they were so successful in negotiating with their customers. At a very high level, what they told me was that I had been missing the other side of the negotiation coin: persuasion. What they said is that negotiating is basically convincing someone to do something. What the bad sales people are missing is the other half of the process: persuading the customer that this is what they want. In fact, if you are good at persuasion then the customer will be falling all over themselves to buy what you have.

As I took all of this in, it started to become clear that what the good sales people were doing could be broken into three main sets of skills:

  • Rapport: they developed a sense of bonding with their customers that allowed the customers to treat them not like “the other side of the table”, but rather like an old friend that they were meeting once again.

  • Body Language: just like a cheerleader, the good sales people realized that in addition to the words that were coming out of their mouths, their bodies were also talking to the customer and they made sure that what their bodies were saying matched what their mouths were saying.
  • Knowing What To Say & When To Say It: the bad sales people always seemed to have periods of awkward silence when they met with customers. The good sales people, on the other hand, always seemed to have something to say and it always seemed to get a positive response out of the customer.

There is a lot more to this persuasion stuff and we’ll talk more about it. However, for now understand that even if you think that you know everything about negotiating, if you don’t have the persuasion skills that you need, then you still have a lot to learn!

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