Archive for the ‘communications’ Category

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Then Keep On Talking

Friday, October 14th, 2011
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If you can't reach an agreement, then keep on talking…

If you can't reach an agreement, then keep on talking…

The goal of any sales negotiation is for both sides of the table to eventually reach an agreement that they both can live with. Although this sounds simple, sometimes such an agreement can appear to be unobtainable. However, never say never – it turns out that there is a simple technique that may yet snatch a victory for you from the jaws of defeat…

The Secret To Making A Deal When It Looks Impossible

I’m sure that we’ve all been there at one time or another. We’re deep into a negotiation and all of a sudden it starts to dawn on us that this just isn’t getting us to where we want to be. The reasons can be many, but generally it all comes back to one thing: there are one or more points that the two sides just can’t seem to find their way around. It’s not looking like we’re going to be able to reach a deal here.

The big question is what to do now. I mean, should we just pack it all up and go home? Inexperienced negotiators might think that they’ve given it “the old college try” and just pack up and leave the table. Negotiators who have been around the block a few times know better.

It turns out that when you encounter one of these situations there is one and only one thing that you should do: keep talking. As amazingly simple as this may seem, it turns out that experience has shown that during negotiations the longer that both sides at the table keep talking, the higher the probability that they will eventually find a way to reach a deal.

Why This Technique Works

Now I can already hear some of you rolling your eyes and saying “look, this negotiation isn’t going anywhere, why should I stick with it?” The answer comes from the simple fact that any negotiation definition always includes the fact that what you are doing is talking, and that means that every word that is uttered during a negotiation has a power associated with it. It words with all of the other words that have been spoken to keep the discussion moving along.

The longer that you keep talking with the other side of the table and keep the negotiation process going on, the better the chances are that you’ll be able to finally identify how a deal could provide more benefits to both sides. This is all part of conducting a principled negotiation. You’ll be able to find alternatives that neither of you were able to spot before. Finally, the longer that you keep on talking the better the chances are that both of you will uncover needs that you have that you weren’t previously aware of – providing you with more motivation to work towards reaching a deal. Clearly this is one of the most powerful negotiating techniques.

Nope, I’m not going to call this some fantastic “hidden technique” or anything like that. Rather, I want to present it to you as yet another tool, another one of your negotiation styles if you were, that you can put into your negotiating toolbox. As long as you are already at the table negotiating with the other side, why not remain at the table and see where the conversation goes to. Don’t be in a rush to halt the negotiations, the more that both sides talk, the higher the probability that you’ll eventually reach a deal.

What All Of This Means For You

Not every negotiation proceeds on a straightforward path to reaching a deal. Instead, sometimes after a negotiation has been going on for quite some time, it can appear as though it will not be possible to reach a deal.

However, when this situation occurs, experienced negotiators know that they need to keep talking. It is only by continued talking that they stand a chance of finding a way to bridge the impasse that is currently separating them from reaching a deal that is agreeable to both sides. A negotiated deal can often be reached if you’ll just keep talking.

The longer that you talk with the other side of the table the better the chances are that you’ll be able to find areas of agreement and find ways around obstacles. There is power in every word that you speak and hear, make sure that you work to maximize the number of words that are exchanged during your next negotiation…!

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: What’s the best way to keep the other side at the table when you encounter a roadblock?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

When it comes to how you want to conduct your next negotiation, there are an almost limitless number of ways to go about doing it. Some of them are above board and some of them are downright sneaky. I’m going to suggest that if you want to walk away from the negotiating table with a deal that both sides are going to feel good about, then you’re going to have to take the high ground…

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Can Sales Negotiation Be Done Via Email and Text?

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009
Email Is A Powerful Tool, But Is It The Right Tool For Sales Negotiations?

Email Is A Powerful Tool, But Is It The Right Tool For Sales Negotiations?

I might be setting off a bit of a firestorm with this idea, but here in the 21st Century do you think that it is possible to conduct sales negotiations using more smart phones and less human contact?

The Need For Modern Solutions

The #1 attraction of using a smart phone (Blackberry, iPhone, or whatever) in the first place is that it can speed just about anything up. The immediacy of e-communications allows deals to develop quicker and to move at speeds that once were unimaginable. However, when it comes to sales negotiations, things can get a bit trickier.

What we are all just starting to deal with here are the questions that come up surrounding e-mail negotiations. Some of these questions include:

  • Is it possible to conduct sales negotiations completely via email?
  • What impact does this have on what kinds of information can be shared during the sales negotiation?
  • When is human contact called for?

The New Rules

Using email as a central part of any sales negotiation changes a number of things. The first is that anything that you put into an email will live forever and may come back to haunt you. It is a great way to send information to the other side, keep almost perfect records, and make sure that everyone involved is informed on where things stand.

At the same time there are pitfalls that everyone must be aware of. These tend to show up whenever there are conflicts or misunderstands. The problems come about because the one thing that email does not do well is communicate emotions or nuances.

So what are the “new rules” in this world of email supported sales negotiations? Here are a few of them:

  1. Slow Down: do not write and send emails on the fly. Remember, these things live forever. I prefer to write the email one day, save it, re-read it the next day and then send it. I’m always careful to leave the “To:” field blank while I’m composing an email JUST IN CASE the “send” key get pressed too early.
  2. Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires: in order to prevent those cases where misunderstandings start small but keep getting blown out of proportion, don’t use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, multiple !!!!!, or including flip comments (“How about making a real counteroffer?”).
  3. Don’t Forget The Phone: In every sales negotiation, there will probably be a time in which it would be better if you picked up the phone and talked with the other side instead of sending them another email. Realize that this moment exists, look for it, and act when it shows up.

Lessons Learned

The take-away from all of this is that times are changing. Gone are the days that all sales negotiations could take place face to face. Negotiating via email is here to stay and we all need to get used to the new rules of the game.

The experts who have been living with this new way of doing business have one final suggestion for all of us. They recommend that prior to starting the negotiating process, all parties meet in person. This is the key to allowing everyone to understand their body language and how they react to things. In the end, this is critical so that you can understand the true intent behind the words in their emails.

Do you negotiate via email today? Has there ever been a miscommunication caused by email? What caused the problem? How was it resolved? Leave me a comment and let me know what you are thinking.

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Does Your Body Language Mumble?

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Learn to spot what the other side's body language is telling you during a negotiation

Ah body language, the secret communications channel that we couldn’t turn off if we wanted to. When we are negotiating it’s important to remember that your body is giving off all sorts of signals that you may or may not want it to be sending. I’m not sure if you can prevent your personal body language from stuttering or mumbling like you can your spoken words, but the good news is that you are not the only one talking this way. The other side is also giving you many clues as to what they are thinking and what their next move might be. If you are attuned to watch for and read the other side’s body language, then you just might find yourself in the driver’s seat for this negotiation. Let’s see if we can decode some of the messages that are being sent your way:

  • Key point: it’s when there is change in someone’s gestures that we should take notice. When they start to make a new gesture, that indicates that they have just started to feel someway. Don’t get hung up by individual gestures, rather focus on groups of gestures – they are the ones that are really telling you a story.
  • Our (and their) attitude is formed by initial interaction with people. We quickly form an attitude of openness or attitude of defensiveness. Keep your eyes open and pick up on these initial body gestures when you first meet the other side.

Let’s talk about some single gestures. Remember, don’t fret about these if you see them individually, it’s when you see them in groups that they are really sending you a message:

  • Cooperation & agreement: Gestures that expose the body imply trust, communicate “yes” , obvious and meant to be seen. Arms away from the body or over the head are a good example of this.
  • Slow & deliberate gestures: Open hands: show a willingness to meet the situation. Uncrossed arms and legs are another good example of this.
  • Moving forward: in negotiations we really like to see these gestures because they indicate that we’re going to make some progress – Hands on hips , feet apart. Often the signs of a high achiever, or a go-getter who wants to reach a negotiated agreement.
  • Hands on chest , this is a way to reinforce sincerity
  • Rubbing palms , shows both eagerness & expectancy
  • Appraisal & interest: there are a lot of ways to show this, one of the more common is when the head is tilted.

  • Hand to cheek gestures: Chin in hand, finger along bottom , evaluating what we are saying: interest, calm evaluation; Stroking the chin , making a decision about what you are saying
  • Interest In The Conversation: more interest , leaning forward you , I’m with you; less interest , leaning back, away from you.
  • Confidence: good eye contact, steepling with fingers , higher up from lap, more confidant (up by the eyes , too confidant!), hand in packet w/ a finger out , confidence, hands laced behind the head , confidence, legs crossed also means they are feeling quite smug.

There you have it – a laundry list of body gestures that you can look for during your next negotiation. Remember that the other side is probably going to be focused on the actual steps in the negotiation and may not be working to pick up on your body language. If so, you’ve just found a great advantage that just might help you to come out ahead!

Have you ever observed someone’s body language during a negotiation and then used that information during the negotiation? Has your body ever given away information that you wished that it hadn’t? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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The Other Side Of Negotiation: Persuasion

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Persuasion is the other side of negotiation

The last time that I went into an auto dealership to buy a car, I was smart enough to keep my eyes open. Because I realized that I was entering into a negotiating “combat zone”, I wanted to see what the dealer would do to prepare me for the inevitable pricing discussions that we were going to be having. Although I came ready to negotiate, what I discovered is that even before we began to talk, the dealer was trying to persuade me to buy a car there. Suddenly the light turned on for me – there’s a whole dimensional to this negotiating stuff that I had not realized was there…

The ultimate goal of any negotiation is to convince the other side to do what you want them to do: sell you the car, buy your house, give you a job, sign the contract, etc. We’ve spent some time talking about what I like to call “classical negotiating”. This includes preparing to negotiate, planning on what you are going to compromise on, and even how to deal with demands and deadlines. Now it’s time to talk about the other side of the coin: persuasion.

Persuasion is one of those words that we all know, but would be hard pressed to define. To put it simply, persuasion is a form of social influence in which one party guides another party to a conclusion or action. This is accomplished by appealing to the other party’s needs and wants instead of forcing them to do something. If taken too far, then persuasion can turn into manipulation where only one party benefits from the interaction.

Why take the time to talk about persuasion when we really should be talking about negotiation? Simple, the two forms of communication are different sides to the same coin. I like to think about persuasion as being the unspoken part of negotiation. In a perfect world, if you could persuade the other side to sell you the car, buy your house, sign the contract, then that would be all that was needed. However, often times persuasion is not enough, and that’s when negotiation comes in to play. No matter how things turn out, persuasion has a role to play before, during, and after a negotiation.

When communicating with the other side, there are two basic forms of persuasion that can be used: logical and emotional. It’s important to realize that both forms are often used together – this is not an either or situation. The logical appeal attempts to use facts, logic, and reason to convince the other party to agree to take some action. The emotional appeal attempts to capture the other side’s imagination, their heart, or simply to appeal to their belief system to achieve the same thing.

Back to that car dealer. The walls of the dealership were covered with facts & stats about the safety and gas mileage of the cars that I was looking at (logical). They had pictures up around the place of past customers with little hand written notes that thanked the dealership for their service and support (emotional/social). Finally, when I sat down with the salesman to talk about pricing, I couldn’t help but notice the oversized picture of his wife and children that was prominently displayed on his desk (emotional). Next time you get ready to negotiate, don’t forget to prepare for the other 50% of your task – persuasion!

Do you use persuasion as a part of your negotiations? Have you ever felt as though the other side was using it on you? Have you ever been manipulated by someone during a negotiation? Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

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Posted in communications, emotional, ideas, logical, persuasion, success | 8 Comments »

How To Deal With Hard Core Opposition

Sunday, June 22nd, 2008

Angry Mob Represents Opposition To Your Negotiation

We’ve talked about how to properly prepare to start a negotiation. Once we start to negotiate, thanks to millions of years of evolution, we are all pretty good at recognizing situations in which we are called on to compete. We are tuned to allow us to make ourselves heard in these situations and to get our point across. Which is why we all seem to do such a poor job when we are faced with no competition, but rather opposition. Oh, oh. What to do now?

So what is opposition? Opposition is what happens when the group of people that you are trying to communicate with are just dead set against what you have to say. If you show up in a situation where you are going to be telling your team about a great new documentation system that the company has mandated that everyone will start using, you will encounter opposition if nobody that you are talking to wants to do documentation in the first place — it’s not that the new system is a bad idea (although it might be), it’s just that everyone rejects the idea of doing documentation.

What’s funny is that although in technical fields we struggle with how to deal with opposition, the folks who work in politics deal with it on a daily basis. Our elected officials are forced to deal with opposition everyday and so they have developed effective ways of dealing with it. We could learn a thing or two from them:

  • Co-opt The Other Side’s Issue: this is one of my favorite approaches. Don’t go head-to-head with the oppositon. Instead take a careful look at what’s motivating their position: why doesn’t your team want to do documentation? If you show respect for their underlying issue and then go ahead and propose a different way of solving it, you’ll basically cut off the oppositon at the knees. In our documentation case, if you show the team that offshore developers do a poor job of native language documentation and by doing a good job of documentation their work they will be able to keep more jobs onshore, then you’ve accomplished your co-opting.

  • Redefine The Issue: Initially an issue may start out as a tug-of-war. In order to solve this problem, if you redefine it in such a way that it is no longer a tug-of-war, then you can win the other side over. In our documentation example, the issue could start out as a “the company is telling us to do more work”. This could be redefined as “Other companies have created products that interface with our product. In order for them (and us) to be successful, they have to understand how our product works and so documentation is needed.” All of a sudden, what was something that was being created for the faceless company becomes a tool for specific small business owners.

If you can become skilled at learning to distinguish opposition from competition, then you will have a hard-to-find skill that you can start to use proactively. Do a little bit of research on the group that you will be communicating with. If there is strong opposition to what you will be discussing with them, it will probably come out quickly. Look for ways to co-opt or redefine the issue and you’ll have accomplished half of your job before you even open your mouth.

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Posted in communications, ideas, opposition, planning, success | 2 Comments »