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Why Taking Hostages During A Negotiation Is Never A Good Idea

Friday, May 11th, 2012
Image Credit When the other side takes hostages, it's time for you to take action

When the other side takes hostages, it's time for you to take action

We’ve all see what the image looks like on TV: the bad guys break-in somewhere, things go wrong, and all of a sudden they take hostages. This is never a good thing and it can very quickly go very wrong. The same thing can happen during your next business negotiation – the other side of the table may decide to take hostages — assets not people hopefully. If they do this, then how should you respond?

Why Do People Take Hostages During A Business Negotiation?

People take hostages during a business negotiation because they think that it’s going to help them to get what they want out of the negotiations. Simply put, hostages are collateral that the other side thinks that they are going to be able to trade for something that they want later on in the negotiations.

In a business negotiation, a hostage can be just about anything. The list includes goods, money, trade secrets, or even something as valuable as a company’s good name.

When the other side takes hostages during a negotiation, what they are trying to do is to limit the actions that you can take. Simply by them having hostages, you will find that you are unable to take actions that you normally would be able to.

How Can You React When Hostages Are Taken?

There is no way that you can really prevent the other side of the table from taking hostages during a negotiation if that’s what they have their mind set to do. What that means is that you’re going to have to come up with some countermeasures to use when they do it.

The first of these, and the one that seems to appeal to most male negotiators, is to consider taking some hostages of your own. Look, if they are going to do it then why shouldn’t you? Remember, in the end there’s going to be no difference between you and them if you take this route.

Another approach is to be willing to forfeit the hostage. Yes, just decide to let the other side keep whatever they’ve taken. Once you’ve made this decision, all of a sudden the value of the hostage immediately drops to zero for both sides. I’d like to caution you to not to expect to get the hostage back if you make this decision – the other side will never give you that satisfaction.

If you aren’t comfortable with either of these approaches, then another way to deal with a hostage situation is to simply ignore it. I know that this may sound like madness, but you’d be amazed at just how effective it can turn out to be. The other side desperately wants to talk about the hostages that they’ve taken. If you aren’t interested in having that discussion, it will end up driving them crazy.

These are all good ways to react when the other side takes hostages, but an even better thing to do is to prevent the hostages from being taken in the first place. If you want to diminish the possibility that the other side will take hostages in the first place, then you need to take the first steps.

One way to go about doing this will occur as the negotiations start. Right off the bat you can lay down some guidelines that will make it difficult for the other side to take hostages. Establish severe penalties for the taking of hostages. Your goal has to be to make sure that the other side understands that taking hostages will be an unprofitable course of action for them!

What Does All Of This Mean For You

All too often during a business negotiation, hostages can be taken. There is really no way that you can prevent the other side from doing this so you had better come prepared for it to happen.

If hostages are taken, then you need to have countermeasures at the ready. Making the other side pay a steep price for their action can eliminate the value that they think that they are going to get from taking hostages in the first place. An even better approach is to take steps as the negotiations start to ensure that the other side understands that taking hostages would be an expensive mistake for them.

A good negotiator understands that taking hostages is a way for the other side to try to have more bargaining power. Realize that this can happen and always come prepared with your own set of hostage rescue techniques!

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: When the other side takes a hostage, what do you think the best first reaction on your part would be?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the job. Subscribe now: Click Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

During a negotiation, you’d hope that we’d all be adults about it. Right? Well it doesn’t always turn out that way. Using either physical or environmental means to intimidate the other side is a negotiation styles or negotiating techniques that the other side of the table may use as a common negotiating technique. You need to be aware of this before a negotiation starts so that you can come up with a way to deal with it.

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What Role Status Symbols Play In Negotiations

Friday, May 4th, 2012
Image CreditNegotiator's status plays a role in every negotiation

Negotiator's status plays a role in every negotiation

When it comes to sitting around the negotiating table, we’re all equal, right? In a perfect world, the answer would be yes. We don’t live in a perfect world and so the answer is a very solid “no”. So what does this mean for us – do some negotiators deserve to get more?

Where Negotiating Status Comes From

Where does this status thing come from? It seems to play a role in our negotiation styles and negotiating techniques. I’m pretty sure that we’re all very aware of the role that social status used to play in European society back in the day. You had your upper class folks and then the rest of humanity. If an upper class negotiator sat down to negotiate with a lower class person, then they would be starting with a huge advantage simply because of their social status. This would undoubtedly affect the final deal that was negotiated.

Those days are long gone – or are they? In Europe, as well as in places like India, although officially the social classes have been removed, traces still linger. When two negotiators from two very different backgrounds sit down to negotiate, the ghosts of their family’s backgrounds can at times haunt the room.

Additionally, a new type of social status symbol has arrived on the scene. A person’s success in life as represented by all of the “bling” that comes with success – money, power, acclaim, etc. can elevate their social status. If you don’t believe me, then just imagine how you would feel if you were sitting across from Donald Trump trying to negotiate a deal with him!

How You Can Deal With Status At The Negotiating Table

I’d like to be able to tell you to just ignore status when you are conducting your next negotiation. Focus on the deal that you’re trying to create and ignore who the person that you are negotiating with is or where they come from.

That’s easy for me to say and very hard for you to do! It’s never going to be easy for you to overlook the other side of the table’s status – it’s going to affect your negotiation process. Instead, I’m going to suggest that you do something else that will help you to work through this issue.

In order to retain your composure when you are negotiating with someone who has more status than you, you need to boost your status. The easiest way to go about doing this is to do additional work preparing for the negotiations. I have found that people with status often assume that their status is going to help them to reach a deal and so they will often not do as much preparation for a negotiation as they should have. Do your homework and you’ll be better prepared than they are and their status won’t matter as much.

What All Of This Means For You

We do not live in a perfect world – we are not all equal. Instead, status and status symbols play a role in every negotiation – this is almost a part of the negotiation definition.

What this means for you as a negotiator is that you need to realize that status can play a role in how you both view and treat the other side of the negotiating table even when you are conducting a principled negotiation. You need to work to overcome any status advantage that they may have by working extra hard to prepare for the negotiation – you need to be the best prepared person at the table.

Status as something that makes people different is something that we’ll always have to live with. As long as you know that this is an issue, then you can take steps to deal with it and make sure that it does not influence the deals that you make.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: What’s the best way that you have ever used to overcome a status advantage that the other side may have had?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the job. Subscribe now: Click Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

We’ve all see what the image looks like on TV: the bad guys break-in somewhere, things go wrong, and all of a sudden they take hostages. This is never a good thing and it can very quickly go very wrong. The same thing can happen during your next business negotiation – the other side of the table may decide to take hostages — assets not people hopefully. If they do this, then how should you respond?

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Posted in negotiation tactics | No Comments »

Counterstrike: 5 Ways Negotiators Can Deal With Threats During A Negotiation

Friday, April 27th, 2012
Image Credit When you are threatened during a negotiation, you need to fight back

When you are threatened during a negotiation, you need to fight back

There you are in your next sales negotiation and everything is flying along nicely. All of a sudden, wham! The other side goes and suddenly threatens you with something if you don’t do or agree to one of their demands. Oh, oh – that “Dummy’s Guide To Negotiating” book that you read last month didn’t cover this situation. What’s a negotiator to do now?

The Danger Of Using Threats During A Negotiation

I’m pretty sure that we’ve talked about it before, but it probably can’t hurt to mention it one more time. Threats can be a powerful part of any negotiator’s negotiation styles or negotiating techniques; however, threats are difficult to use correctly and can easily cause a great deal of damage. No matter what’s being negotiated, the other side will probably threaten you at some time. How should you deal with these threats?

5 Ways That You Can Deal With A Threat During A Negotiation

You can’t stop the other side of the table from using threats against you during your next negotiation process; however, you can be prepared when they do. What you need to have ready are the following 5 threat handling techniques:

  1. Will They Shoot Themselves?: I can’t tell you how many spy movies that I’ve seen where the hero wins in the end because the bad guy tries to shoot him with a gun that really fires backwards. When you are threatened, you need to take a close look at the threat and determine if the other side follows through on the threat if they would end up harming themselves as much as they would harm you.

  2. Hold Your Position: Sure the other side can threaten you, but do you really have the stronger position? Do you have a product or a service that they truly need and can’t get anywhere else? If so, their threats may be meaningless and you need to not budge.

  3. Time For A History Lesson: If the other side of the table is threatening you during a negotiation, then it’s probably not the first time that they’ve used this negotiating tactic. That means that they’ve got a history. You need to do some research and check with people that have negotiated with them in the past – do they follow through on their threats? If not, then you may be able to disregard their threats.

  4. Tell Their Boss: Using threats during a negotiation can go against the principled negotiation standards of the organization that the other side works for. Simply by informing the other side’s boss that threats against you are being made may be enough to get the other side in trouble and make the threats go away.

  5. Tell A Story: One of the most effective ways to get a point across is to tell a story. We all know that threats can backfire and may have unintended consequences. If you take the time to tell the other side a story about threats going bad after they’ve made a threat, you may be able to get them to take the threat back.

What All Of This Means For You

Negotiations always seem to somehow include threats, either explicit or implied. The trick is not to try to avoid them, because you can’t, but rather to understand how to deal with them when they show up.

Skilled negotiators know that that every threat has the ability to blow up and harm both sides of the table. That’s why you have to take the time to determine who might be hurt and by how much. You also have to make sure that the other side is aware of the damage that the threat that they’ve made may cause.

During a negotiation, when you’ve been threatened, it’s not the end of the game – threats are almost part of the negotiation definition. As a negotiator, you need to learn to roll with the threat and evaluate what it really means to you. Once you understand the scope of the threat, you’ll be able to take the appropriate actions that will bring the other side of the table back to the negotiations and will get you once again moving towards reaching a deal.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: When the other side makes a threat, do you think that you should call for a break in the negotiations in order to show how serious you think that this is?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the job. Subscribe now: Click Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

When it comes to sitting around the negotiating table, we’re all equal, right? In a perfect world, the answer would be yes. We don’t live in a perfect world and so the answer is a very solid “no”. So what does this mean for us – do some negotiators deserve to get more?

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Posted in negotiation tactics | No Comments »

Video: How Do You Deal With The Rest Of The Iceberg During A Negotiation

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

The next time that you are negotiating with someone, you had better make sure that you know what all of the issues are — even the secret ones!

Dr. Anderson explains that all too often there are a second set of issues that are very important to the other side of the table during a negotiation. If you don’t realize this and deal with them, then you’re not going to be able to successfully reach a deal! Dr. Anderson explains how to uncover the real issues in your next negotiation…

If you want to get more negotiating secrets, subscribe to the free The Accidental Negotiator newsletter here: http://goo.gl/Yqf70

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6 Things A Sales Negotiator Needs To Know About Using Threats During A Negotiation

Friday, April 20th, 2012
Image Credit Sometimes during a negotiation, your bark has to be as bad as your bite

Sometimes during a negotiation, your bark has to be as bad as your bite

Who doesn’t like to use a threat during sales negotiations every so often? Threats are yet another one of the negotiation styles and negotiating techniques that we can use. It’s like a big stick that you can haul out and set on the table. There it sits, out where everyone can see it and the other side of the table knows what you could do with it if you wanted to. It turns out that that big stick has some consequences that you need to be aware of.

Threats Are Not Without Consequences

Every negotiation that you are involved in will have the possibility of at least one threat involved in it. Give it some thought – every negotiation has the possibility of ending in deadlock as one possible outcome – that’s a threat!

When you decide to use a threat of either taking or not taking some action, you need to understand that with a threat comes both intended and unintended consequences. What makes a threat really powerful is if the other side decides that they will either gain or lose by believing your threat.

6 Things That You Need To Know About Using Threats In Negotiations

If you aren’t careful, the use of threats during your next negotiation can result in hostility. Not only that, but they can also result in unintended consequences for you. Because threats are such a tricky weapon to use, here are 6 things that you need to know in order to use threats correctly:

  1. Credibility Counts: Your threats won’t have any impact on the other side if you aren’t going to be seen as being willing to carry them out. We see this all the time around us when we see parents making big threats that they have no intention of ever carrying out to their children in order to get them to behave.

  2. The Threat Has To Match The Issue: We’re talking about proportionality here. The threat has to match what is being negotiated. If you are trying to get the other side to agree to a small request, then don’t use a huge threat to nudge them to give in.

  3. No Threats Without Backing: Make sure that your organization is going to back you up on your threat. If the other side of the table knows that they can just go around you and get what they want, then your threat has no teeth.

  4. Threats Linger: Before you use a threat, you need to realize that a threat can linger as part of the negotiation process long after you use it. The other side of the table may become angry at having been threatened and may be looking for ways to get revenge later on in the negotiations.

  5. Threats Change Relationships: If you have a preexisting relationship with the other side of the table, using threats may forever change that relationship. You need to evaluate whether it’s going to be worth it to use the threat.

  6. Threats Can Get Away From You: Once you’ve made a threat during a negotiation, you can’t take it back. A threat that has been released into the wild can easily get away from you and may get out of control. How the other side reacts to your threat may be far beyond what you had anticipated.

What All Of This Means For You

Threats are a part of every sales negotiation no matter if we want them to be or not. They should almost be part of the negotiation definition. They have a role to play even in a principled negotiation. The key thing that every negotiator needs to realize is that threats have consequences that you need to be aware of.

If you make the decision to use a threat during your next negotiation, then you need to take certain precautions. These include being credible, making your threats proportional, making sure that you have backing, and understanding that the use of threats has long-term consequences.

In order to be a successful negotiator, we need to be able to make use of every negotiating tool that is available to us. This can include the use of threats. Keep in mind that as powerful as a threat may be, threats do come with some significant consequences that you need to be aware of. Keep these in mind and you’ll have yet another powerful tool at your disposal.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Question For You: What’s the best way to determine if you have the backing of your company before you start making threats during a negotiation?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Negotiator Blog is updated.

P.S.: Free subscriptions to The Accidental Negotiator Newsletter are now available. Learn what you need to know to do the job. Subscribe now: Click Here!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

There you are in your next sales negotiation and everything is flying along nicely. All of a sudden, wham! The other side goes and suddenly threatens you with something if you don’t do or agree to one of their demands. Oh, oh – that “Dummy’s Guide To Negotiating” book that you read last month didn’t cover this situation. What’s a negotiator to do now?

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Posted in negotiation tactics | 2 Comments »

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